January 2006

Past The Point

So here we are.

No going back here, there are no returns.

Thatís the way that things are done here. There is a system, there is a reason and it is not to be questioned.

In the slightest.

We are built on returns and regrets. We are built on the idea that if need be, we can always take it back, whatever ďitĒ is.

It doesnít work that way here.

Here there is a permanence that you donít see outside. Here there is no edit or delete function. Here, you will live and die by what you say and do.

Here, justice lives, and rest assured it is waiting for you. All of your secret sins will be revealed and there is no escape.

Here is the voice inside your head, the one that always questions all of your wrongs. Here lives the voice that you try so desperately to ignore. Here is the honesty that you so desperately try to avoid.

Here lie the questions.

You know them. You ask yourself them all the time. They may be asked quiet enough that no one else can hear them, and perhaps you ask them quietly enough that you canít hear them yourself.

On most days.

But that is not today. Today is a different day. Breathe it in and feel it. Itís waiting for you. On most days you can find the excuses and reasons to deny these things, but as I said, that is not today.

Today is a new day.

Today you will listen.

To yourself if not me.

Your failures are not mine, your failures are yours and yours alone. You have to face them, as I must face my own. All of the questions that haunt you can only be answered by yourself. You know the details, I do not. You know your own truths, I do not.

There is no escape here.

Not for you, and certainly not for me.

Much blood to be found here, only for the staunchest of readers is the rest.

See you in a month.