March 2004

Cop out? Me? NeverÖ

So this is a shorter reprisal than usual. I had one all written when my computer (or luck, but weíll get to that), decided that the ideas were just a little to brilliant for society, and if the stunning work was shared with the current world, all of the ignorant people in the world would find that their heads would explode and a new age of humanity would begin that would forever change the face of intelligent history on the planet. Women and children would sing songs for decades about the beautiful gift that was bestowed to the world in March of 2004.

And peace would, after a time, reign on earth.

Or I have an older computer that runs on windows and I forgot to save the damn thing before it locked up and erased the whole fuckin bit.

Fuckin old computerÖ

Fuckin windowsÖ

Anyways, got me thinking on luck (that and a couple of things) so this is my great cop out for the month.

Luck Didnít Leave A CommentÖ

She never does. Not really.

More often than not she just breezes in, has her way with things and then breezes out without any sort of an explanation. Thatís her style I suppose. Everyone has a way of doing things, and hers is to do what she will and to hell with answering questions.

Part of her mystery I suppose.

But you have to wonder. What is it that makes one person strike her fancy, and another end up floating on the remnants of what once was a crate full of bull manure (empty now, thus the floating, but boy wood can absorb a smell when it wants toÖ), while trying to fashion a tourniquet out of seaweed to stem the bleeding caused by the unfortunate discovery that sharks do in fact feed in large groups from time to time, and given the opportunity will indeed relieve you of the better part of your leg.

Was it something that one said or did as opposed to the other?

Been thinking about that lately. Some people say that I have pretty good luck. I did win a 50/50 last week and walked away with about fifteen dollars. I suppose that could be called good luck.

On the other hand, while getting out of the shower this morning, I cranked my pinky toe into the side of the shower railing and relieved it of most of its toenail. Itís unhappy with me for that.

Luckily, no schools of sharks in the immediate vicinity. So that begs the question is that then bad luck or good luck. Bad that if I was to to be left in the wilderness right now, I would be unable to do anything but walk in circles every five miles. Good in that there are no carnivorous fish in my shower to suddenly take advantage of my wounded state. So really, Iíll call that one even I guess.

I was talking about luck last night with an old friend. We were discussing the odd paths that our lives have taken and trying to figure out where the hell we came from and how the hell we got where we are.

Heís off to travel the globe in roughly a week. From what I have been told, and have had occasion to witness, world travel has that effect on people. Introspection, that sort of thing. I have never left the continent myself, so I canít say for sure, but thatís what some people say, so I may as well repeat it to make myself sound wise and well traveled.

As people do.

The farthest I have ever been, for sheer distance is roughly 2362.47 miles. That is roughly where I was in Washington DC many years ago. I spent a summer there in a neighborhood that taught me that by and large, people are very nice, and that there are a staggering number of ignorant white folk kicking about.

We stayed in a neighborhood where we were the only white people for blocks. Some people have said we were lucky to come out of that alive. I tend to say that I was lucky to be able to stay there.

So maybe luck has a lot to do with perspective then.

That would be interesting. That would imply that you can control your luck. I doubt that very much. I have known a lot of people that if they could have bettered their luck they certainly would have liked to.

So again, the same question is left unanswered. Why does one guy get the girl and the other doesnít? Why does the car that hasnít had a tire change in 20 years keep going and the shiny new camarro blow out all four super-reinforced mags while parked?


I do believe that what goes around comes around, and most of the time, we only have ourselves to blame for the good or the bad in our lives. There is a random motion to things, absolutely, but if anyone is wondering why it is that their fridge smells like the insides of a whale thatís been beached in the sun for the last two weeks when they havenít cleaned it out since the fall of the Berlin Wall really has no one to blame but themselves.

As creatures, weíre some of the oddest in the world, if for no other reason that as much as we do enjoy the good things in our life, we will run at the same speed (if not faster) into a situation that we know is only going to end badly.

Actually, I suppose that one could make an argument that lemmings do the same thing, but as I understand it, thatís largely a Hollywood invention, and even those little creatures have enough common sense to recognize that perhaps unmitigated doom is something best left to the funny walking monkeys.

I like to think that Luck is the great equalizer. When you think about it, most of our actions are chosen and at the end of the day, 9 times out of 10, and whatever other suitable clichés are appropriate, the weíre the ones who either make it good for ourselves or not. I think luck steps in either to give us a little hope, or remind us that we may have gotten a little too cocky for our own good. Think about it. The guy from the beginning of this little rant thought that he could safely navigate a body of water that is larger than the land he lives on. Through shark infested waters no less.


Didnít see that coming.

I think luck likes to remind us now and then that we arenít quite as hot shit as we sometimes like to think we are. Thatís just what I think though. Often I am wrong.

Could be sheís simply a spiteful shrew, passing out the winner and loser dance cards based on something as random as the order of her sock drawer that morning. Hard to say really.

Or maybe, and far more likely, itís just a nice little concept to have around. Makes the completely nonsensical machinations of the world seem like they have some sort of rhyme or reason. At the very least, it gives us someone to blame things on.

Lost you job? Bad Luck.

Won the lottery? Good luck.

No wonder she doesnít ever have that much to say. If people were always blaming me for everything that happened in their life, I wouldnít want to talk much either.

The wonderful world of hats and such

Iím not a big hat person. Actually thatís a lie, I am a very big hat person, but let me explain that as reading it over Iím shaking my own head, and I have the luxury of knowing what it is that Iím trying to talk about.

I have an abnormally large skull. Iím told I donít look it, which is good I think, but finding hats that fit is a rare thing, so I donít generally wear them.

On leaving my apartment on Sunday to fire off some more vocal tracks for the CD (which ended up being cancelled, but itís important to explain why I was leaving my house, makes all the connections and suchÖ), I walked into the parking lot to hop into my car.

I do that a lot, walking to my car, and sometimes I even see people. I live in a busy neighborhood, so it isnít a huge surprise when I see someone.

On Sunday, I saw an elderly lady wandering around the parking lot carrying a couple of Safeway bags and a straw cowboy hat. I enjoy oddities like that, so when she looked up at me, I looked back and her I smiled.

Seems that smile endeared me to her, because she looked back in the direction she was walking for a second, and then stopped. She turned back to me, smiled, held out the hand that was holding the straw cowboy hat and said something to the effect of "You seem very nice, would you like a nice hat?"

I, of course, said, "Sure".

As I took the hat, fully expecting it to be 14 sizes to small, she commented, "It may not fitÖ"

And damned if it didnít fit. Perfectly. Like I said, finding hats is hard for me, but if any of you math wizards out there would care to calculate the odds of meeting an old woman outside your apartment building who is carrying a hat that exactly fits an oversized skull, please let me know. Iím a little curious about that.

So I have decided that I am going to make a point of wearing this hat whenever I can. It will be my new sidekick, because obviously, it found its way to me for some sort of a reason. I mean, really the odds have got to be in the billions.

But then, thatís luck for you I suppose.

Definitely gonna wear it on the 20th. That should fuck some people up good and proper.

See ya around, you know where to find meÖ